Life isn’t fair
Applying to (and getting into) college isn’t fair. I don’t know if it ever was fair (some people I’ve spoken with believe it’s more “not fair” now than it was years ago), but the sooner students – and parents – accept this to be true and deal with it appropriately, the better their college application process will be.
If you’re applying to competitive colleges, you’ll most likely be rejected by some of them. And in at least one or two of those instances, you’ll believe that your rejection simply wasn’t fair. You’ll point out that you had a higher GPA than the average student admitted in prior years, an ACT or SAT score in the top 25th percentile as shown on the university’s own website, and too many ‘solid’ extracurricular activities to list on the Common App. Yet somehow, you were rejected. Not fair. And, just to rub salt in your fresh wound, your high school classmate, who never visited that campus, only decided to apply a week before the deadline, had a lower GPA in less challenging courses than you, and who ran cross country freshman year (but quit before the season was over) simply to put it down as an activity, was actually accepted by the same college that rejected you. Not fair, not fair, not fair.
For parents who can’t quite grasp this, think about the last time you (or someone you know well) applied for a job. There were probably many applicants who met all the published qualifications for the open position (every – single – one) and still ended up with a rejection email. And if you did your secret internet sleuthing and eventually found the profile of the person who was hired for this job, you may have found they don’t have the level of experience that you do. Yet they got the job, and you didn’t. That may not be fair, but it’s life.
The same is true of college admissions. While some of the applicants who are rejected probably weren’t really “qualified” for the school where they applied, there are plenty of students getting rejection letters who are just as intelligent, well-rounded, eloquently spoken, and intellectually curious as those who were accepted. It is what it is.
So, what can you do about it? Well, there’s nothing you can do to prevent rejections, but there are things you can do to make the whole college application (and acceptance) process a little better.
Send as much good information as you can with your application. This means filling out all sections, listing your extracurricular activities, answering ‘optional’ essays if there are any, and submitting a high ACT or SAT score if you have one. It won’t guarantee you anything, but the more information they have the better.
Don’t hang all your hopes on one specific college. Just don’t do it. And this is where parents come in to play. Your child may be convinced that a particular university is THE ONLY place they can see themselves attending, but you’ve got to help them understand that there are plenty of other “good fits” out there.
Apply to a wide variety of schools. At least consider all types – national universities, private, public, regional colleges, and liberal arts. I recommend purchasing a College Guide, NOT for the rankings, but instead just to have a list of all types of colleges, some that are great fits that you’ve never heard of before.
Start early. If you can get your high schooler to start the search early as well, that’s great. But as a parent, you should be helping your child understand that there are plenty of colleges out there where they can thrive. Do some research on your own so when your child is ready you can point them in a good direction to begin the search.